I found out a fact today that it is hard to love a person, but it is even harder to make a person love you. It is hard to love someone deeply, but it is even harder to get a person to love you even more deeply..... people might said.."i noe that a long time d la..",hence i can only say i might be more ignorant than that person. Seriously, i dun need that person to love me more than i love her....all i want is affection from her...to get her to tell me she love me too,to share anything together.... Sometimes i'm wondering,shud i jz stop to tell a person i like her or sumthing...and wait til she make the 1st step?by doing this,i save all the embarassment... I really dont ask much,i simply wish for that when i tell you i really like you,or I love you,you will say the same thing back to me.... After all my experience,i also wondering,is it that i cant give security to a person i cherish?is it i cant show that im really serious?I noe that i might be kinda joker most of the time,but all i really wanted to tell you is how much i really love you,how much i care bout you,and dont care what other people think of me,i jz need you to understand.Or perhaps its just me who doesnt understand anything yet...its simply pure ignorance.... Sometimes,putting all your effort seems like it will never be enough, sometimes it hurts to love,but without love, you hurts more. It hurts to see couples spending time together on Valentines when im alone, It hurts to see them watching movies in cinema in couple seat, It hurts to see them holding hands and say how they love each others, It hurts to see them supporting each other when they're down, It hurts to see them wiping each other's tears may it be tears of joy or sorrow, It hurts to see them exchange gifts during birthdays and Christmas.... It really hurts,to cry alone, or laugh alone....It really hurts. Im really tired,maybe its jz we who doesnt understand a single thing at all....like i said,ignorant.....I noe you will never read this,but when you really read this,i hope you can noe how important you are to me rite now... im putting all my feelings in this post rite now,hence whats written is written,i cant promise myself that i wont be thinking of this anymore,but i hope that all unwanted feelings will be left here without leaving too much regrets in my heart.... Disclaimer:THANKS for reading my blog.however,to those who feels like critising my post,or hates any of my idea,please do remember that this is my blog,which also acts as my diary,therefore i have the right to post any sort of information i want,in which i believe could've done no harm on any of the people that knows me...therefore i ask for understanding.
Finally finished watching the drama 1 Litre Of Tears. sob..at first while watching episode 7 to 9 din cried...to my amazement.then i was like thinking..."haha....u wont get the 1 litre from me..." but said it too early...episode 10 and 11[last episode] is a serious killer blow...cried a lot..sob...really claimed the One Litre from me... Anywayz..here are some of the quotes from the drama[thx to another blogger i googled...Greatshowsontv.blogspot.com]
I really don't want to say things such as "I want to go back to how things were before". I recognize how i am right now, and I will continue to live on.
Even though I have been hurt before by those heartless glares this also helped me to understand that around me, there still exists some gentle glares. Therefore, I definitely won't run away. That's what I'll do. Definitely. Always.
The quiet classroom after class; The view outside the window; the wooden floor of the corridoors; Talking in homeroom; I like all these. I'm likely to only cause trouble for people and it might not really do me any good to stay here. Even if it's like that, I still want to stay here. Because this is the place where I am.
To be able to smile and tell everyone this; i have, at least, cried one litre of tears. Therefore, even when i leave this school, I definitely won't think that some things have ended.
If you look up at the sky after falling down the blue sky is also today stretching limitlessly and smiles at me...I'm alive.
For those people who are really listening, they will definitely understand.
People shouldn't dwell on the past. It's enough to try your best in all that you're doing now.
Reality is too cruel, too brutal. I don't even have the right to dream. As I think about the future, the tears will come out again.
Where should I head towards? Even if there isn't answer, I'll feel better by writing it down. I've looked for a pair of helping hands but I couldn't feel them, couldn't see them. I only face towards darkness and hear hear the sounds of my hopeless screams.
Poems by Ikeuchi Aya from One Litre of Tears:
The Other Side of Suffering
Everyone feels pain But surely, after suffering satisfaction will arrive Even with sports; studying or other ordeals with life, It's like that for everyone If we can beat the pain, on the other side a rainbow of happiness awaits us. That will definitely become a treasure Lets believe in that.
Step by Step
When my existence seems to disappear I will look for the place where I can do the best I can From now on, I'll deliberate slowly I won't be impatient I won't be greedy I won't give up Because everyone takes things step by step
Hope I can also stay strong like Aya-chan...u deserved all the respect from everyone.... Rest in Peace.
At ard 12pm, woke up[to receive a call], then my friend ask whether wan to go out...Of coz my reply was..Oh yeaH babe....hahahaha....finally a plan on a boring day...haha.well,the plan was delayed a bit,so decided to watch one litre of tears again...episode 6...let it streamed,then my friend called,so went for shower in a ZooooooM...............then wear leng leng zhai zhai...waited outside da door. Jz went to Jusco Cheras Selatan nia..coz near.so 1st thing to do,wat else...go to cinema,head for the main PLAN!!!!hehe...and the movie of da day was.... haha..the tickets as you can see...is ONLY RM8 each!!!wat the hell..so cheap wan?dun care i told my friend hahaha.straight away cabut lor...since the time of movie is 2pm,and its 2pm d!!!! Well..one word for this movie.....R.I.D.I.C.U.L.O.U.S. however...the show did provide good laugh...and some racist ones too....damn da licking is so yewwwwww..... after dat jz went to some lunch for me...more or less some snack.Went to Food and Tea since it seems to be the only place i love to go to eat there wif friends lol.... well...the 1st dish left with only one piece coz...forgot to take picture..the sanwich luckily oni ate one piece b4 remember to took a photo of it...not bad eh...haha. Tea Drinking Competition...See who's lips is sharper lol...
after all stupid stuff i said...my friend sienz d..lol..ZzZzZ.She's actually too tired d la..haha.Shhhh... after dat went walk around before heading home...
One liter of Tears...OMG....im starting to get into this japanese drama although ive jz finished episode one....first drip of tear flow when Aya's mom ask the doc whether there's a cure for the desease while da dad is flipping through those pictures...i noe...this is an old drama...im a bit outdated guy in terms of jap drama...the last one ive watch was GTO..yep..GTO...!!! Anywayz..to whoever havnt watch this drama,and want to watch too..can go to this link... http://www.mysoju.com/1-litre-of-tears/
seriously..its nice...now..bye...gonna watch da next episode n bring out more tears..(>.<) [PS:lay mei..if u r reading this...wanna tell you ...IT SERIOUSLY IS A NICE DRAMA sob.regretted to wait this long before watching it....think i will give in more than a litre]
well...it have been almost 2 weeks since i've posted anything in this blog...hmm...wat do i have to say after so many weeks?
well 1st thing that im happy bout is none other than... BARCLAY'S' ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE!!!!! WOHOOOOO...sigh..but Man Utd drew the first game with Newcastle..wat a game,and also wat a day for me..need to finish doing the references for my assignment[yeah i noe..procrastination kills,but i'm still doing it despite knowing the fact]
sigh..another stuff that has happened is..a bunch of my friends have graduated...haihz...more friends leaving.after so many years,they are heading towards a new chapter of life,while im stuck in the same book,same chapter,same page, fearing of failing the Business Strategy paper. haihz...wat a struggle.however,was glad its all over.
Rite after exam,i hibernated for a day,which is 2 dayz ago,went out for a drink wif friend,then on tues,went pasar malam alone,yepp alone....coz bored to death at home.bought 2 dvd though.compilation of death note and also Evangelion[which i watch then fell asleep half way...] it not that its not exciting...its a pretty nice anime..but sumhow was very tired yesterday,which ive achieved my objective of sleeping early..haha...at 12am++.coz for the past few weeks,has been sleeping around 4-5am.sigh...
now...jz a week back,ive bought a new pair of Nike shoes...looks fancy for me.was suppose to post da pic up here earlier too...but cant find my camera's battery charger,hence the delay. then today,this whole day in fact,my activity is just one..watch the TVB drama,Ga Hou Yuet Yuen...Mooncake Resonance...
Anywayz...i guess dats all for dis post....suddenly not in mood...haihz..
GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE TAKING OR GOING TO TAKE THEIR FINALS!!!!! I KNOW THE EXAM IS AROUND THE CONNER...SO I PURPOSELY POSTED SOME GOOD LUCK CHARM HERE, AND MAY IT BRING GOOD LUCK TO THOSE READING THIS...BE IT FOR FINAL EXAMS, OR ANYTHING THEY DO IN THEIR LIFE. . . . AZA AZA GAMBATEH...JIA YOU oOO..!!!!
well...after viewing Jin Khai's uploaded pictures of us few years back...feels that time flies pretty fast.How much Ive change over the years...Never actually so an audit of my college life all these while...Looking at the fact that most of my friends have all graduated,it feels kinda lonely..missing all my old friends.most importantly is how ive transformed over the years from 2005 til now....
Cant believe all these days have come and gone...
Went through a lot of events with my friends...especially my college buddies from STACT Club...so much to learn from them,being an immature brat at the moment.seriously,they made my early stage of college life...
sigh....wonder when the next time i reflect back on my past in my blog...how will i looked then?hmm...could this have been my 1st emo blog lol...
Hi...eventually i found today is a day i MUST post something...coz its simply 080808.no..not about Olympics of all thing....basically,this is a boring post by a boring me spending a boring day on an auspicious day...[FATTT FATTT FATTT!!!!!]
6a.m.-woke up...actually its more of waking up at 6.20,change n prepare everything in 5 minutes,then left for college.No intention to go college at first thought,coz its jz a one hour class.and its at 10am summore.how much suffering i had. . .Dang~**
7:15am-reached college,went to have my weekly friday's special nasi lemak breakfast with my dad in success,so guys...you know where to find me on a Friday d...assuming you are courageous enough to approach me lol....Well,maybe you would but a classmate of mine is so definitely not!!!haha...Nadia.....careful hehe. Well..this is how my dad look...choose a not very fierce one. . .or else my blog will be rated 18PL d.Good thing my dad is not so much of a technology guy...so basically..even if i crap too much here oso he wont realise hehe...good son.
anywayz,back to my main post content..Aiyo...so.......OUT OF TOPIC JZ NOW...
8.am to 10 am-well, went to concourse to surf the net,until saw Jen, Wai Leong and Calvin.sit there for a while,jz chit chat sum crap.and jz tot of it,Jen's last day of class happens to be 080808....cool...but haihz..it also mark an end to da sizzling dayz wif her in college....
10am-went for advertising class...get da test paper and results...finish class..then jz balik.
11:15am-take a bus,go to Mid valley,give the DVD to Steven,chat around.Went pass Cova to see if Shireen is there....but saw Yang instead..well well...what a surprise.then go to KTM again to take train to Serdang.supposingly today can go and watch movie with someone geh...haihz...but tak jadi.so,my main plan of da day ended up being a BOEING 747 taking off....[FFK-ed]
12.30-3pm-well basically after plans cancelled...decide to call Hooi...one of my ex collegue for lunch in Mines.went there after a while,it looks totally different.so ended up waiting in the shop for near an hour before he's free to go eat.We went Food and Tea[fun hei dei] as it jz open.Feast like mad...and im never gonna eat da twin sauce rice there d...not my type.
3pm-as walking back to bus stop to go home,saw some sun glasses that look cool...so decided to have a look.but i ended up becoming a impulse purchase consumer,and a very good customer too...tried a few glasses then simply say..."ok,i'll take this.." normally i'll be so fussy when buying stuffs,still i manage to end the whole process in less then 10 minutes.impressive.then walk towards da bus stand,surprisingly as i reached the bus stand, the bus arrive.first time to smooth the process of my way home.overslept in da bus,stopping sumwhere at least 50 to 100m away from my street.sigh..walk all the way back.
5pm-reach home,watch Spooky Kitaro and Ranma with the gurl my mom babysit...hehe..then finish both shows..went to sleep ard 5pm.woke up only at 9pm.hehe..my normal nap...
everything beyond 9pm is what im doing now..Blog!!!haha... . . . . . . . those who are faint hearted..be advised...parental guidance needed...image content might bring symptoms such as dizziness, urgency to vomit and other side effects... . . . . .